Time and time again, we stick to our usual course(s) of actions even though it may not be producing results- it's what you know, is easy, and provides a level of comfort! If you want something different (better results), you've got to do something new. Routinely, we blame the dating pool for being awful (and don't get me wrong, there are a lot of terrible aspects to it), when in reality, it's 

 we have to work on. We can't change what's out there, but we 

 be more intentional in dating, becoming intensely self-aware, focusing on our own growth, and becoming the best version of ourselves. One easy question to ask is, would you (truly) even date yourself?

It's easy to do with rose-colored glasses on but start paying attention to things that partners show you about themselves early on. They aren't going to change for you, and as much as you may want to be, you won't be the exception. Trust your intuition, your body will give you signs almost immediately about individuals - people tend to think that butterfly excitement feeling is a spark when it's actually our nervous system setting off our fight, flight, or freeze mechanism. We tend to play out narratives from our past because it's what we know and what we feel comfortable with (even though it may be unsafe or miserable), because what we don't know we fear even more. Look for a calm and safe feeling when you meet someone, not the "Oh my god I don't know if I should text them back yet because I need to play it cool because I 

 I like them so much!"- feeling. This will only continue to exacerbate itself and you won't be your true self in those moments either. Why? Because the right one won't even waiver on your needs, wants, and peculiarities. This brings us to the next topic...

The more you are in truth with yourself about your needs, your wants, your insecurities, shortcomings, strengths, and so on, the easier things will begin to flow back into your life as such. People pleasing, being overly co-dependent, or living your life to someone else's standards (or even your own unrealistic standards) will never allow the stars to align for you.

Ah, the hot topic of energy discussion. Well, where do you usually sit on the energy spectrum? Are you trying to control and lead things in relationships or are you open to being led and receiving? These are huge factors in not only being someone who others want to commit to long term but also in finding a partner that will do the same.

, lean into your masculine energy and take the lead. 

, lean into your feminine to be open to receiving.

The caveats here though are that women can only be in their full feminine energy with a partner who allows and makes them feel safe and supported. And men too can only be in their leading masculine energy if it is allotted to them. Many women who are stuck in their masculine and anxious energy tend to try and take the reins (because we don't feel that safety and support yet)- but let the men show you they can (

) lead. This will make your options so much more clear and being able to live within these energies will only become easier and more rewarding with practice of course!

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